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The Witcher Official Cookbook: Provisions, Fare, and Culinary Tales from Travels Across the Continent

Publisher: Ten Speed Press

I am a fan of fantasy. Back in the day, I would DM games of AD&D, trying to inspire a deeper sense of immersion by lighting appropriately scented candles to add to the experience (firewood-scented candles when camped, ocean-scented candles when near a beach or seafaring) and playing ambience of crackling fires or ocean waves or whatnot... and, yes, that was on a cassette player. So, as you might imagine, the idea of cooking and enjoying foods from a fantasy realm is a very appealing proposition to me. That having been said, you have to consider the particular fantasy for its particular gastronomic possibilities. I enjoy watching The Witcher, but I've never been made hungry by watching the show, so, there's that...

Created out of Anita Sarna and Karolina Krupecka's fervor for the culinary aspects of The Witcher's universe, The Witcher Official Cookbook takes what they were able to do with their recipe blog to another, more tangible level. The premise of The Witcher Official Cookbook isn't different ways to cook up slayed monsters, so that's nice. Instead, the book follows the journey of a surveyor tasked with mapping the entire realm... who decides to gather the best recipes of the realm while he's at it. This makes for an immersive and believable monologue explaining the recipes selected and providing context to the selection of the recipes, their significance in the region, and some continuity that ties the recipes to the surveyor's journey. From the premise and flavor-text aspect, The Witcher Official Cookbook is nicely written and entertaining.

Before discussing the range of recipes, I feel like I should point out that I'm approaching this book from the standpoint of a person on a bit of a restricted diet. I have recently been limited to only fish and fowl, as far as meat is concerned, which leaves me chicken, turkey and fish, primarily. Yes, I miss beef and pork. Very much. If you're able to eat beef and pork, there are a lot of recipes in this cookbook that call for that. I'm not making those recipes, however, so I'm starting off dealing with a subset of recipes I can test. Further, while we're on the subject, there are certain other restrictions we have to consider (that you wouldn't necessarily consider). Of the three tasters evaluating the recipes we're testing, one of them is allergic to shellfish, so shrimp is out. Furthermore, one has a hatred for beets that is nigh to "Favored Enemy" status and we generally tend to avoid forcing anyone to consume the flesh of their nemeses. Additionally, my wife is vigilant against the inclusion of dark meat chicken in her food - a taste preference, but a strong one. We have strong suspicions that dark meat chicken acts as a henchman for beets, but we've yet to prove it.

In addition to the fact that there are several earthy ingredients that are used a lot in The Witcher Official Cookbook and may not appeal to everyone, there can be some rare cooking accoutrements called for in certain recipes. Not all kitchens have a mortar and pestle, for example. Not everyone wants to cook a recipe that uses blood sausage as an ingredient. Many are not a fan of cabbage, which is used extensively in this cookbook. Some aren't a fan of mushrooms, but they are found in fourteen of the dishes in this cookbook. Of the recipes within, twelve of them are drinks... and seven of those are alcoholic, with no "virgin" option specified.

Other recipes included a recipe for a sourdough multiseed bread (we don't make bread here), Groats with bacon (what's a groat? Dunno, but I can't have bacon), a non-alcoholic fruit drink with lots of dark berries (and dark berries are also in league with beets, I tell you), Sorcerer's Beef Stew (which sounds good, but we can't have beef, per doctor's orders), other dishes made with venison or beef, and then some long-term recipes, such as Academy All-Nighter Brined Cucumbers*, which takes five days of attending to them every 24 hours out on your counter and then another one and a half to three weeks in the fridge for them to come full term. And don't forget Brined Cucumber Soup*, which simply includes those self-same brined cucumbers as ingredients and makes the soup from that point, thereby scooping up a twenty-six day prep time into the making of the soup. Another thing we avoided was "harborside" fish, which in The Witcher Official Cookbook means skin-on whole fish, which you might have guessed is outside of my comfort zone.

With the dietary restrictions, and dislike of certain ingredients and cooking styles, we didn't make as many of the recipes in The Witcher Official Cookbook as we normally would; while the book is beautiful, many of the recipes are either not options for us or not appealing to us. Still, we did venture to make six of the recipes...

You might think that being limited to chicken, turkey and fish would mean that my dish options just got really boring really quick. You would be wrong. A lot of delicious meals can be made using chicken. Even what starts as the most basic sounding of recipes can be elevated into something amazing. Chicken Sandwiches With Kaedweni Stout Marinade* proves this point, by taking a simple "Chicken Sandwich," using rustic ingredients, paying attention to flavor profiles and, in the end, presenting a delicious sandwich that we will surely be making again. It had a bit of preparation involved, but the end result has a rustic, hearty flavor and is an excellent version of a tavern chicken sandwich that makes me not miss hamburgers quite as much as I normally do.

The oddness of the options painted me a bit into the corner and backed me up into the Merchant's Cucumber Cooler* - and I'm glad it did. The recipe includes a Variation note that changes the recipe slightly to make it a bit thicker and changes it from a drink to a light sauce for serving with potatoes and meat. I tried both variations and found that the thicker sauce variant made a nice addition to a salad, as a topper, in addition to being good over rice (and presumably potatoes as recommended) and I suspect would be nice atop bread or toast, as well. I drank some of the drink variant and it is a refreshing beverage, but had a pulp to it from the cucumbers that I found distracting. However, the drink version made for a nice, fresh salad dressing, either alone or alongside a little bit of Italian dressing. I can see making the drink variant of this recipe again, simply to use it as a light salad dressing during the summer.

One appetizer (or tapas?) recipe that we made was Fox Hollow Toast with Herbs*, which basically has you creating a fresh sunflower pesto from scratch and it was delicious. This recipe asks you to take out your mortar and pestle and put them to work, but, wouldn't you know it, I haven't seen mine since the move around ten years ago, so we had to get a bit creative. Instead of mortar and pestle, we used an electric handi-chopper to get everything most of the way there and then crushed the mixture further using the back of a tablespoon to grind the mixture over a cutting board until it reached the desired paste-like consistency. While this one won't be a regular in our rotation, I am quite sure we will be making this one again when we want to have a larger, fancier meal or are entertaining others. It's worth mentioning that the most esoteric ingredients in this recipe are probably the parsley and basil. Delicious and made with easy-to-source ingredients!

We also tried the Étoile Blanche Pasta at the Adder and Jewels Winery*. Truth told, this called for fresh egg pasta, which might have elevated the dish a bit over the bowtie pasta that we used, but the results we got were astounding. The fresh tomatoes, Greek yogurt, fresh garlic and Ofieri Spice Blend played well together, contributing to a fresh, savory and delicious meal that we will be cooking again and, quite frankly, adding to our "rotation" of meals that we cook frequently.

Another recipe I made (all by myself) is the abovementioned Ofieri Spice Blend*. This is listed as an aside or sub-recipe to the Ofieri Spiced Chicken and Pumpkin Stew*, but is also simply included in the ingredient list of some of the other recipes, so it could prove handy to have some of this on hand. Creating this spice blend is literally just collecting some exotic spices and mixing at the indicated ratios, but it can jazz up a recipe, so I would advise actually using it when it's mentioned in a recipe, although they do give the option of using a simple spice in its stead. For example, certain recipes that call for Ofieri Spice, they suggest you can use cinnamon, which is one of the ingredients in Ofieri Spice Blend and, presumably, the main note that would be detected in that recipe, although Ofieri is basically a curry spice mixture.

One recipe that inspired a great volume of discussion and debate amongst the tasters (both before and after cooking) is Geralt's Omelet for Yennefer*. Mind you, one of the tasters used to work as a short order cook at an undisclosed restaurant whose name rhymes with "Haffle Wouse" and, as such, is very good at making delicious and fluffy omelets in a very certain way with certain techniques, which were different from the technique described in this recipe, leading to a lot of discussion as to the possible reasons for the technique employed in the recipe and then, later, lively discussion on the difference between his typical omelet and Geralt's, what worked and what didn't, and what might be done to improve upon omeletkind, in general. The omelet, itself was tasty and rustic, but better than the omelet, itself, was the thought and discussion that it inspired. Whether we ever make this omelet per the recipe again, or even modified, the inspiration that came from the experience will definitely lead to some experimentation in upcoming omelets and, through that process, our omelets will improve. In the end, that is probably more valuable than finding a great omelet recipe...

The final piece-de-resistance for our cooked recipes in this cookbook was, perhaps appropriately, a dessert. Specifically, the Chocolate Soufflé*, which featured a red wine syrup or glaze, where similar desserts might have a raspberry sauce or similar. The red wine reduction lent a nice flavor to the soufflé, complementing the rich, dark, almost savory flavor of the dark chocolate (...and the absence of dark berries allowed this recipe to avoid immediate elimination by the prime taster / editor-in-chef who dislikes dark berries). I really liked the flavor of the light-as-air dark chocolate soufflé, but may have enjoyed the red wine reduction even more and actually added enough (slowly) that it seeped around the soufflé and actually floated it a bit. It soaked it up and became not unlike a tiramisu, but soaked in red wine reduction instead of coffee. As wonderful as this one turned out, there was a moment of doubt in the middle of the recipe. There's a point where you mix egg yolks into the chocolate elements when it's lukewarm, while whipping up a meringue elsewhere. It's at that point that the chocolate (with egg yolks added) started looking... funky. It looked like oil or butter was separating out of the chocolate, but butter doesn't go into it. It also started clumping a bit and became a really odd and unappealing texture. We feared the worst, but tried to trust in the process and, miraculously, when we started folding the meringue into the chocolate, it recombined and the texture became smooth. That part was nerve-wracking, because the instructions specifically say to fold the meringue in gently and not to overwork it, so we were praying that the texture would come back together without mixing it too harshly and, quite frankly, it seemed to do a bit of the work itself; I never would have expected the texture to fix as quickly as it did, considering the gentleness I used to fold it and gently mix it together. Once baked, it rose to the occasion and souffléd just the way it should, so we were pleased. Of the three tasters, one person wasn't a fan, one thought it was okay and I, personally, really liked it... but I regularly enjoy really dark chocolate, so bear that in mind.

Beyond the specific recipes, themselves? Well, let's see... the cook times seemed to quite often be shorter in the book than required in practice, but again, your mileage will vary. As for the editing of the text, the amounts or ingredients in the recipes we tested seemed to be correct and the text appeared to be skillfully edited for spelling and grammar, as well, although some of the steps could have been a bit more clear.

One editing aspect that failed to meet my desired level of thoroughness and disappointed me on a couple of occasions is the index, however. Yes, the recipes are all to be found there, in alphabetical order, but I prefer to see a detailed inclusion of ingredients referenced in the index and multiple redundant references. When you're going back to a cookbook you've used before, you're likely to remember having made sweet buns before and go diving into the index to find that recipe. If you have a stellar memory and you just so happen to remember that the recipe is actually called, Wedding Sweet Buns*, then you'll find them immediately. If you very generically look for "bun," you'll find another entry for it under "Bun, Wedding Sweet" - which is the kind of redundancy I'm looking for. However, when I thought of the recipe, I first thought of "sweet buns" and, alas, there's no entry there. I mentioned the ingredient references. You could easily find yourself shopping and finding some delectable looking... something... mushrooms, perhaps? Cabbage? Venison? And when you see that... thing... you think, "Aha! I have a recipe for that in The Witcher Official Cookbook!" So, you buy quite a bit of it and then consult your book to see what that recipe is. Well, if it's mushrooms, the index will quickly proffer fourteen different dishes by name and provide you the page numbers to go there immediately. Great! If the ingredient was cabbage? Three recipes and a "See also" reference to sauerkraut. Sweet. Venison? It lists the one recipe that calls for venison. All great, so far. But... if the ingredient you get is less of a main ingredient, you're out of luck. Cinnamon? It's found in several dishes and included in the Ofieri Spice Blend*, which would make a good "See also" entry, but you get... nothing. The only thing in the index starting with "Cinnamon" is Cinnamon-Clove Marinade*. Another thing I look for in a cookbook index is generalized categories, such as "Sandwiches", "Salads", "Soups"... all of which are there, which is great. However, I really wish there were a way I could look for recipes based on "Appetizer", "Sides", "Mains" or "Desserts" and, alas, there isn't. All-in-all, the index is relatively good, but is lacking in some areas. However, when you purchase the ingredients for several recipes and then you can't figure out what was supposed to call for Fresh Sage, Parsley or Thyme, it really is annoying when those herbs are not listed in the index.

So, who, then, is The Witcher Official Cookbook for? Well, right off the bat, I'd say diehard fans of the books / videogame / television series would probably enjoy the book, regardless of whether they ever cook any of the recipes. It has beautiful illustrations, great flavor text, and even little handwritten notes in some recipes, which adds an extra something to the book, even as just a collectible. As for the recipes, these appear to be targeted more to more adventurous chefs. If you know what a pottage is and have had one before (a thick soup or stew), then you might want this cookbook. If mushrooms and cabbage are staples in your kitchen, you're not unaccustomed to cooking with venison from time to time, and you like "harborside" fish, cooked in much the same state as they were caught, then you're the target audience.


* For your convenience, you can see the page number for the mentioned recipes by hovering over the recipe's names. You're welcome.


-Geck0, GameVortex Communications
AKA Robert Perkins

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