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Postal 2
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Graphics & Sound:
In the epic words of Psibabe, 'It just wouldn't seem right for anyone else to review this game'. Think about it - nearly everyone has one game that, for some reason or another, is associated with them in some way, shape or form. Such is the case with Postal 2, but not because the game is really violent (which it is), or because I'm a violent person (which I am not), or because I have a particularly dark sense of humor (which I do) but for one central reason - Gary Coleman. Long time readers undoubtedly know of my fascination with the microscopic star of TV's Diff'rent Strokes, so it should only stand to reason that I would be brought on board to review a game in which he is featured. However, much like Gary, Postal 2 comes in larger than life, but in the end doesn't quite measure up. Well, the game has a pretty neat looking in-game model of Gary Coleman, so it's got that going for it. However, that's about all the game has going for it since the rest of the presentation isn't up to par. While I admit that much of this reason could be because my system isn't quite up to the game's standards, the game's levels come off as drab and unappealing, which make for a rather boring experience. Sure, I'm not expecting bright, colorful graphics - but it's always nice to see some life in a game. Sadly, Postal 2 is about as dead as they come. Thanks to the rag-doll physics engine, bodies fly and flop all over levels like a fish on land, but that's likely to be the extent of life (ironically enough) you'll see in characters since the animations are rather stiff and substandard. The game also has a few loading issues to spar with, which end up ruining anything resembling a fluid play experience. The voice work, which features Mr. Coleman, is actually fairly decent. It's nothing that will win awards, but when compared to your standard voice work, it's good. Of course, some of the voice work is tainted by the... well, let's just say more than generous use of profanities in the game. Profanity is always fun, but there comes a time when it's just too much. The same goes for most of the sound effects and music of the game, which are good, but nowhere near great. |
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Gameplay:
At its core, Postal 2 is your typical FPS. You pick up weapons and kill everything that moves - simple, huh? Unfortunately, 'simple' is a word that can be used to describe nearly every aspect of Postal 2's gameplay, from the boring mission layouts to the simple-minded humor, nearly every aspect of the game comes off as low quality. You play the role of the aptly named Postal Guy (who, by the way, doesn't work for the postal service) as you try to live a week in his shoes in the backwater town of Paradise, Arizona and not go on a homicidal rampage. As if living in Arizona wasn't enough to depress someone, Postal Guy also has to deal with all the typical trials and tribulations of life such as getting laid off and his nagging, alcoholic wife. Postal Guy's life on the outside isn't all that great either since he also has to deal with the annoying, and surprisingly well-armed citizens of Paradise, as well as the town's ever-persuasive police force. At the beginning of each mission, you are charged with a rather mundane task such as buying milk or cashing your paycheck. It's what you do on the way to your goal that makes the game interesting - or that's the point, at least. The mission structure is probably one of the few intelligent aspects of the game. Whereas most games require you to complete certain tasks, Postal 2 allows you to call the shots. For example, during a robbery at the bank, you can help bust the robbers or you can sit back and let the cops handle it. Sadly, making simple decisions like these is about as expansive and interactive as things get. Sure you can choose to not shoot people or perform certain actions, but doing so usually comes at the cost of not being able to progress in the game. It's like being forced to choose between watching 'Zapped Again!' or 'Teen Wolf Too!'. It's fairly obvious that the developers were going for large, lively environments like the ones found in the GTA series, but this simply isn't the case. Granted you can walk into nearly every building on the map - but the levels just aren't that big in the first place, so there's really no thrill to the option. Out of everything in this game, it's obvious what got the most attention - the crass humor. Now, I'm all for dark humor - ask anyone - I'll never miss a chance to crack a joke about a midget or a disability, nor will I hesitate to make a wisecrack about someone's nationality (especially the French). I'll even admit that I find Rednecks funny. However, I also know where to draw the line - something Postal 2 clearly doesn't do. I'll be the first to admit that I chuckled at a few things in the game (such as the gun-toting, anti-video game violence protesters), but after a few minutes of the game's low brow humor, I was really turned off by it. The worst part is that there's really no reason for half the antics in the game other than just to do it. Sure it's fun to use a cat as a silencer once or twice, but there's only so many times that's funny. It's clear that the writers were looking for something Tarantino-esque, only without the wit or intelligence. Perhaps if a little more time were spent on crafting a better plot, things would look a little brighter, but as it stands, the only people who are likely to find this game funny are those still looking for a nude code for DOA: Extreme Volleyball. |
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Difficulty:
Postal 2 is an amazingly short game. The entire game is separated into five days of the week, containing about thirty mission goals for you to do. The rest of the game is basically a stroll around Paradise shooting people. Although the game's 'do what you want to' structure is limiting - there is still room to make the game as hard, or as easy as you want. It's possible to run through the game being absolutely courteous and only doing 'bad things' when a mission called for it, or you open fire and make Paradise look like the streets of downtown Baghdad. It's really up to you. The key element to remember is that EVERYONE in Paradise is armed. They're amazingly stupid, but armed.
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Game Mechanics:
Okay, so you can beat the hell out of random people. You can hunt down priests, pop their heads off, light them on fire, and relieve yourself on their corpses. You can join Gary Coleman in urban warfare as you stand back to back-of-the-leg against hordes of gun-toting prostitutes, junkies and protesters. The question is how many of you have actually wanted to do this stuff? That said, Postal 2 lets you do many things, but it's still not fun. In the end, Postal 2 stands to show people that games like GTA are about more than just stealing cars and committing crimes. That game presented players with a good story and a reason for doing things, whereas Postal 2 just throws you out and says 'here, you can do this if you want'. The lack of a structure to the game really hurts it in the long run, especially once the initial shock factor wears off. The lack of a Multiplayer mode, a no-no for FPS's, also hurts the game's replay value. I'm all for games taking on more mature themes - it's the only logical step when you see the rising demographic of game players. However, in my opinion Postal 2 really isn't something the best thing for an industry that's trying to show the general public that it's a responsible and mature form of entertainment. Unless you're someone who just wants games to shock your parents, Postal 2 isn't worth your time. |
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-Starscream, GameVortex Communications AKA Ricky Tucker |
Minimum System Requirements:
Windows 98/ME/2000/XP; Direct X 8.1; Pentium 3 or AMD Athlon 733 MHz processor; 128MB of RAM; 8X CD-ROM; 3GB available hard drive space; 32 MB GeForce 2 or Radeon-class video card compatible with DirectX 8.1; Windows-compatible sound card compatible with DirectX 8.1 or higher |
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Test System:
Windows XP; 128 MB RAM; Intel Pentium 4 1.8 GHz Processor; Integrated 32 MB Intel 3D AGP Graphics Card; 40 Gig HDD; 16x DVD Rom |
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